*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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