Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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karn chevalier

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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