What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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The Princess is in another castle

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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