Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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a man checks his mypsace

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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