Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

Charlie Sheen

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

What happen's when you give an alcoholic whiskey? He's an alcoholic, so he drinks it.

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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