What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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