So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse than suicide? death

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops