Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

What's stupid a light bulb.

I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

Your mom went to college

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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