why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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well now

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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