Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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