Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

thumb_up thumb_down +8

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops