Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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