A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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Why? Because.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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