Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops