Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

What happens when a gay guy and a hillbilly enter at the same bar togather? a police dog nation gards and a priest had to stop the abomination.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

I think everybody should have a penis.

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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