What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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