Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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