Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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Why was the truck driver speeding down the road? To get to his mother's funeral. Why didn't the baby cross the road? Because it didn't have any guts.

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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What is the best anti joke? Dunno cant think of one

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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