Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Lil Wayne

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

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what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

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there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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