Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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school homewrok

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Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops