Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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