i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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j.p. is dumb

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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12 niqqa 12.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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"Have you heard the one about the trannie?" "No, what is it?" "Wow, that's offensive." -Juanita

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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why am I writing this...im bored

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops