Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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knock knock Goodbye

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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a man makes a bad joke

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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