Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

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Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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there were 2 black men and a mexican man in a car. who as driving? we cant tell from the problem but is is more likely it is a black guy because there are 2 of him and 1 mexican.

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops