Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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