Why can't vampires go out in the sun? Becuase they don't exist.

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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tim has no humor

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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