Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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binladin walks into the american seals

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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i like turtles

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops