You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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Obama = ebola

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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69

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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