Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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Why are pills white? Cause they work.

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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