I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

hi, my name is zack, i have a boner from the girl to my right(;

My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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