How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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Rush Limbaugh

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops