Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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hi michael

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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