why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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