A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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