What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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Robert Mugabe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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