What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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i have no freinds on facebook.... overated

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Why did the man fart? He didn't. Stop being so dirty-minded.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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