Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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why is cancer a big thing because its bad

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Why did so many describe Billy as glued to the t.v.? A terrible case of bullying and superglue resulted in the inability of Billy to remove himself from his own t.v., causing immense feelings of revenge, but his inability to move left these feelings unfulfilled.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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