Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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