Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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