A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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A hill billy went fishing

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

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a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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What do porn stars do after they retire? No clue but some idiot made a movie about it.

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* anti-punchline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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