A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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