What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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