What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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