How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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