Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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What's worst than your favorite football team losing the football? Giving birth to a stillborn child.

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Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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Women's rights.

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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