I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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