Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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H o m o comes out as homo

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops