- Anti Joke

Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" BOOOOOOM" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

This is my favorite antijoke.

How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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