how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

thumb_up thumb_down +5

In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops