How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

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Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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