why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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