How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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