Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Where's the soap?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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