How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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what is the difference between me and a grown black man.... i went to school

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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What did the black man say to the Hispanic? Lovely weather we're having.

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69

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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How did the terrorist die? He flew a plane into a twin tower

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops