Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q- Why? A- Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Ok so a black guy is packing his bags for college and then......... wait a minute?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops