A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

black people

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops